Sometimes
by BlooperLover
Summary: I want someone to hurt, like the way I hurt. It's sick but it makes me feel better.


"Father!" I called, my back to the door. I rolled the bright, red apple over in my hand a number of times before I eventually heard the creaking of the door.

"Yes, Regina?" my father says to me, as he walks into the room.

"I'll be going out for a time. I'll be back soon." I told him, heading towards the door.

"Where are you going, Regina?"

"I have business to attend to." I said to him. He glanced towards the apple in my hand.

"And the apple?" he asked me, one eyebrow raised.

"Am I not allowed a snack?" I asked him, feigning innocence.

_**Sometimes when I lie **_

_**I know you're on to me **_

I wasn't completely lying to him, I told myself. The apple was meant to be a snack... Just not for me. My father looked at me, a sort of suspicious expression evident on his face. He clearly understood what the apple was intended to do.

_**Sometimes I don't mind **_

_**How hateful that I can be **_

"Regina..." he said taking a few steps closer to me." Is that really necessary?"

I knew that he was not pleased with my plan of revenge on Snow White.

_**Sometimes I don't try **_

_**To make you happy **_

He never had approved of it, but I chose to ignore that fact. He stood by me anyways, and that is the only thing that mattered to me.

_**I don't know why I do **_

_**The things I do to you but **_

"Goodbye father." I told him, as I walked towards the door.

"Goodbye, Regina." I spared one last glance at him before I left. His expression was one of sadness, pain. The look on his face almost made me doubt what I was doing.

_**Sometimes I don't want to be better **_

_Almost._ I may be hurting many people through my actions or maybe just Snow

White, I thought to myself as I left the castle. Either way, I honestly don't care, as long as I get my revenge on Snow.

_**Sometimes I can't be put back together **_

I believe myself to be beyond repair. All I care about now is getting my revenge. At some point I realized, my true love is dead. My mother is his murderer. What do I have to lose, that I haven't lost already?

_**Sometimes I find it hard to believe **_

_**There's someone else who could be **_

_**Just as messed up as me **_

I truly am messed up. All of my time is spent trying to ruin Snow's life because of something she did as a child. Pathetic isn't it?

_**Sometimes I don't deny **_

_**That everything is wrong **_

But she took away all that I loved and now I will take away all that she loves.

At first, I used this as an excuse for what I was doing. A reason that what I was doing wasn't wrong. At this point, I've stopped bothering to deny it.

_**Sometimes I'd rather die **_

_**Than to admit it's my fault **_

At a time I had pondered the fact that my miserable life is not entirely her fault. I could've attempted to move on, at least. But that was long ago. Now, I am so far gone that I reject even the possibility of that.

_**Sometimes when you cry **_

_**I just don't care at all **_

I know that my father does not like what I've become. A monster. Evil. Obsessed with revenge and only revenge. Occasionally I try to make my father happy and act the way I used to. I've realized that it doesn't work, and at this point...

I don't even care.

_**I don't know why I do **_

_**The things I do to you but **_

_**Sometimes I don't want to be better **_

_**Sometimes I can't be put back together **_

Sometimes, I desperately wish that I could go back and change things. Put myself back together. But, of course, those kinds of thoughts might hinder my revenge.

So now, I choose instead to push those thoughts away.

_**Sometimes I find it hard to believe **_

_**There's someone else who could be **_

_**Just as messed up as me **_

_**I want someone to hurt **_

_**Like the way I hurt **_

All I truly want now is to see Snow in as much pain as I was when, because of her, my true love's heart was torn out of his chest and crushed to dust.

_**It's sick but it makes me feel better **_

_**Sometimes I can't hide **_

_**The demons that I face **_

_**Sometimes I don't deny **_

_**I'm sometimes sinner sometimes saint **_

_**Sometimes I don't want to be better **_

_**Everything is wrong forever **_

In my opinion, everything will be wrong for me until I get my revenge. But then what will that get me? Nothing will ever be right. Revenge won't bring Daniel back- no. I can't think like that. Revenge will make me feel better... Won't it?

_**Sometimes I can't be put back together **_

_**Sometimes it is gone forever **_

Daniel is gone forever, but does that mean that I shouldn't avenge him? That's what this revenge is about, isn't it?

_**Sometimes I find it hard to believe **_

_**There's someone else who could be **_

_**Just as messed up as me **_

There isn't anyone as messed up as me... I'm a monster. Truly evil. Despicable, that's what I am. But none of that matters. Only revenge matters. I looked down at the apple, rolling it over in my hand. Only revenge...

_**Just as messed up as me**_


End file.
